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Submitted on
April 7, 2012
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I am tired
For I have endured
This arduous battle
Without being inured

My blade is stained
With the blood of enemies
But ho! Victory I have attained!
Though at the cost of my life

I am cold, so very cold
And my lifeblood is seeping out
My firsn'final battle shall be over soon
As all are injured hereabout

I am young for this war
For I took my father's place
To die in battle I swore
Just as he did years ago

This is a warrior's funeral
Mine is a death of valor
I would never hide
And I will never cower

For Heaven's call
Is to those who stand and fight
And he who in battle will fall
Is he who bears a warrior's might!
Inspired by Valkyrie profile: Covenant of the Plume!~
kind of a lame inspiration, I know>_>
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
commenting here for #BeginnersUnite

the only thing i might do with this piece is punctuate it. while the line breaks work for you in this instance, well used punctuation is a poet's friend.
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:iconriversong0708:
RiverSong0708 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
Yes, now that I've reread it with your suggestion in mind, I can see where I definitely need punctuation. Thank you for pointing that out!
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
to give pointers where asked :)
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:iconshad0wl1nk:
Shad0wL1nk Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice! It's remember me to one of my stories. Swordsman, warriors, knights, just are the best.
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:iconriversong0708:
RiverSong0708 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2012  Student Writer
I know, right? Me too, I love that stuff!:D
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:iconasuname69:
Asuname69 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012
That's quite the poem you have there. Reminds me of one of my works. -Clap clap.-
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:iconriversong0708:
RiverSong0708 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Student Writer
Well thank you very much:D And great minds think alike;)~
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:iconswiss-dilettante:
Swiss-Dilettante Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
As a man who loves warriors, knights, and such, this poem is truly appealing. I like the way you mixed the rhythm scheme up; it makes it less predictable (not that it is so, really). If I were born in the old days, that's how I would be. :lol:
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:iconriversong0708:
RiverSong0708 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2012  Student Writer
Me too! I am so into all of this stuff, as well! Thank you very much for commenting;)
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:iconswiss-dilettante:
Swiss-Dilettante Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome. :) It is funny, the way so many people have a fondness for medieval things these days. I wonder what those in the past would think of us today, though... Hehehe. :)
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